


What is Lost

by Jarakrisafis



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen, Golems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27316087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jarakrisafis/pseuds/Jarakrisafis
Summary: A conversation between Caridin and Shale as the new crown is forged in Caridin's Forge.
Relationships: Caridin & Shale
Comments: 10
Kudos: 10
Collections: 2020 A Paragon of Their Kind Dragon Age Dwarf Exchange





	What is Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eissa/gifts), [gutsanalysis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gutsanalysis/gifts).



"Did the King betray you as you betrayed us?" It asks, curiosity present in the tilt of its head as it peers at the golden band forming under Caridin's hammer strokes.

The taller golem freezes, silence filling his forge, "I... Betrayed you?"

"Did you not lie about how much control you would have over us?" It asks. The stillness is disturbing. It can't quite grasp why it is so wrong. If It concentrates It can almost imagine the soft huff, the shake of a head, a long work braid whipping back and forth. 

The hammer rings out again, the soft chiming echoing, rebounding until the cavern is full of the sound. It knows this sound - It has never heard it before.

"I could not let golems roam free without a way to ensure they did not turn on us."

It startles when he speaks, weight shifting back then forwards, a soft clatter-grate of metal and stone. It was starting to think he would ignore the question. "Us?" It queries with another tilt of Its head, "and who is us?" It moves around until It is facing him, one hand gripping the edge of the anvil, somehow knowing he will not hit Its fingers. "What are you Caridin?"

He stops again, head turned down to look at the half finished crown and It wonders what he is thinking. It is sure, somehow, that at one time It would have known the answer to that.

"Lost."

It sweeps a hand out, gesturing towards the door. "We know the way back." It leaves unsaid that he would be welcome. The Warden has already made the offer. It does not need to repeat the same thing.

He laughs, the sound harsh, like rocks tumbling, "Not that sort of lost Shayle."

It is not sure how else he could be lost if he knows where he is. It did notice he didn't answer the question. "Who is 'us'? Are you a golem or a dwarf?"

The next blow falls wide, a small dent formed on the edge where there should not be a mark. His fingers are trembling. It cannot recall that ever happening before - It can't remember watching him forge before. He puts the hammer down.

"Neither. Both." Another rough chuckle, "Trapped between the two. Self aware enough to know the passage of time. To miss what was. To understand what's lost." He reaches out, metal fingers bumping against Its own stone and steel ones and It wonders what he is doing. "That which you call betrayal I consider a mercy." He says at last.

"To forget is a mercy?" It asks incredulously, staring at the hand covering Its own.

"Some things are better forgotten." He moves his hand away, picking up the hammer again. It misses the contact - It couldn't feel it anyway.

It watches him work, the metal being teased out into a new shape. The attention to detail as each section is given equal care. "Is that what you have been doing here? Forgetting?"

He stops the hammer before it hits the crown this time. "There are times I think I made this body too well. My finest work. I cannot forget; even though I wish that I could."

"So it hides away. Why? Shame?"

His fingers clench, the scratch of metal on metal filling the air. "Why, was there a reason to return?"

"You would let Orzammar be over-run while you remain hidden away." It does not understand. He would let hundreds die for a reason that It cannot fathom.

"There is nothing there but memories. The Shayle I knew, she would understand." He says, frustration giving his voice a rolling growl.

"It is not a she." It points out.

"No." The word is heavy, slow. "I don't suppose you are."

"Is what It was relevant to the conversation?" It is confused. There appear to be two conversations taking place and It can only understand one of them.

Caridin lifts his head, looks directly at It, yet his lyrium-bright eyes stare through, looking at something It cannot see. "I had thought…" It waits for him to find the words he needs... "It is of no matter."

"It must have mattered if you wished to speak of it." It points out.

He shakes his head. "Once, it mattered. Now it is of no consequence." He lifts the hammer, turning his head back to the half finished crown. "Leave me." It hesitates, It has many questions which are yet unanswered. "You are a distraction." He adds and It finally nods and backs away. It thinks it heard more but It has no idea what he means when he says: "you always were."


End file.
